Thursday, May 20, 2010

The ONE That Got Away...

As I reflect on this year and ALL it has brought me I find myself feeling out of sorts. Yea, sure it's brought me a lot of good. But, it has had it down sides as well.

For instance, I've lost 2 aunts this year and I have yet to process this experience. My mother's health seems to worsen and SURELY I can't process exactly how to deal with that. The thought of me living without her is dreadfully painful.

On the bright side of son is DOING SO WELL in school and in  life. I couldn't be more proud.

But something is missing. Something vital. Something critical to my everyday wellness. Or perhaps, it's someone instead. Yes, I think that's it. It's someone is missing. Who is this someone you ask? That someone is me.

Somehow, I've managed to get lost. Lost in the daily grind. Lost in the events that try and consume me. You know, such as career, family, friends,  loneliness...yea, all these things and more.

Well like I was say, I've lost myself. And even worse, I've gotten away from God. Who would've thought? The woman who's always encouraging others to seek and trust in God has somehow managed to get away from him.

Good thing my spiritual compass is never out of order. I can always pick it up and it leads me right back to the center, to God and to me.

With so much on my shoulders, the success of my son, the success of a company, the health of my relationship with loved ones, finances and more I HAVE GOT to stay focused on what matters most. ME.

Yep, that's right. Me. If I'm not all right then how on earth will everything else be all right? It can't be and that's the lesson I've learned. I've got to take care of me. And I will start now by letting go and letting God.

I also apologize to myself for putting anything ahead of me. I also apologize to God for straying so far away.

All is forgiven. It's a new day!



Monday, February 15, 2010

Ramblings of An Ex Valentines Day Sulker!

So today has been beautiful. Love is in the air. And even though I'm not in a relationship I still feel the love on Valentines Day. God's love and grace is all around me. For that I'm grateful.

Normally, I'd be sitting around moping because I'm not in a relationship but not today. Today was beautiful. God gave me rest, peace of mind and plenty of /family/friends who love me unconditionally. For that, I'm grateful.

My son stood in the door as I ran in the dark to get something out of the car. He wanted to protect me and make sure no one tried to harm me. Sweet lil lion mouse. God knows if something or someone would have appeared he'd have gotten on the first thing smoking leaving me to fend for myself. LOL

But it's the thought that counts. It's the mere fact that he loves me enough to try and brave the unknown just to protect his mama.

So how could I sulk on a day like today? No way. I've got so much love around me.

I love God for loving me.
I love my family and my friends.
I love my wonderful son.
I love the peace in my heart.
I love the lessons I've learned in life.
I love having to say "I'm sorry" less and less as I grow in God and in life.
I love the forgiveness in me.
I love the one face I can look at in the mirror at the end of my day when I've done my best.
I love my business and all it's brought me.
I love the newness each day brings.
I love my smile.
I love to hear my friends laugh at my stupid jokes.
I love to hear myself sing.
I love to encourage people to try and live their best life.

I can only pray everyone felt love today and for those who didn't....think again...we all have someone who loves us enough to try and protect us from harm, someone who would never leave us alone, and that someone is God.

Be blessed. Happy Valentines Day!


An Ex Valentines Day Sulker

Sunday, September 20, 2009

I asked God "Am I Just that BAD?" and he replied "No. You're Just that GOOD!"

So, I just sat down and talked with God and he gave me a profound statement. I asked him if I was going through the storm because of something I'd done wrong. I wanted to know if I'd simply been so bad that I'd once again have to endure such a large mountain to climb.

At first, I really second guessed myself and thought these questions to be a clear observation of where I am in my life but through prayer God showed me different. You see, my lense was blurry. I was looking through tainted glass. I could not see clearly. You see, after prayer my father showed me that I'm actually the total opposite of all that I thought about myself and my current state of being.

He assured me that I'm just that GOOD. In fact, I'm just that GREAT. He allows me such mountains to climb because he knows his plan for me. And MUCH is required of those whom MUCH is given.

And, he reminds me on the as needed basis that all of my trials are meant to make me strong. Stronger in him and in my faith in him. God's got so much for me to do that he'd allow such loads for me to carry in order for my faith muscles to strengthen.

Not in a physical sense but in the spiritual sense. You see, God has a way of strengthening us in times of despair. Though you can't see it, he's working us out. Kinda like a good workout at the gym. You go and do your routine daily and though you don't see instant results, with each day that goes by your muscles grow stronger and stronger. As they do, you increase your workout according to your current strength.

So much is the same with faith. Though we can't see it, with each trial that comes our way we are prompted to test the spirit of God and put our faith in him according to what we know is true of him at that time in our lives. Each episode prepares us for the next. Each time he brings us through something our muscles strengthen and the load increases as we grow in our faith. Each time seeming heavier than the last.

Now, don't misunderstand. We can not  physically move a mountain but spiritually our FAITH can. God is the actual one who moves the mountain for us. HE is the force behind all of our spiritual workouts. He does the things that manifest often times in material form. This could be in the form of a financial blessing, cure of a sickness,  healing of a soul, mending of a marriage, covering over a reckless child, etc. He's the force behind all of these things. But our FAITH is what puts things into action for him to be able to perform such miracles in our lives.

So when I look at where I am at this time in my walk with Christ and I'm prompted to think of this trial as a negative thing. I'm glad that he reassured me of the exact opposite. I'm just exercising my faith muscles. Growing to the next level in him. Preparing to do the work he has for me to do and I can't do it on the strength I had yesterday. I need more. So with that being said.....IT'S WORKOUT TIME.

So thank that...Even at my worst HE'S AT HIS BEST. Thanking him for the reassurance.



Tuesday, September 1, 2009

By Your Side- Inspired by Sade

I was listening to a song by Sade the other day.  You may remember the song, it's called "By Your Side".

Now, I know some of you are wondering what Sade has to do with inspiration and God but to me this song is more spiritual that you may think at first listen or first glance.

I'm posting the lyrics just so you can see how I make the connection:

"You think I'd leave your side baby?
You know me better than that
You think I'd leave down when your down on your knees?
I wouldn't do that
I'll do you right when your wrong
I-----ohhh, ohhh
If only you could see into me

oh, when your cold
I'll be there to hold you tight to me
When your on the outside baby and you can't get in
I will show you, your so much better than you know
When your lost, when your alone and you can't get back again
I will find you darling I'll bring you home
If you want to cry
I am here to dry your eyes
and in no time you'll be fine

You think I'd leave your side baby
You know me better than that
You think I'd leave you down when your down on your knees
I wouldn't do that

I'll do you right when your wrong
I-----I, ohhhh, ohhh
If only you could see into me
Oh when your cold
I'll be there
To hold you tight to me
Oh when your alone
I'l be there by your side baby "

The way this song was written reminds me of the connection I have with God.  It reminds me of how at my lowest points I often feel alone. I feel as if he's NO WHERE to be found. But the truth is that his word says that he will NEVER leave nor forsake me. NEVER.

Unfortunately, I sometimes forget this promise. But, lucky for me, I'm able to be reminded. Whether I remind myself, or maybe a friend reminds me or much like today when HE reminded me through this song. I mean sure, it's not a "christian" song but my interpretation is just that it's MY interpretation and for me it hits home and it touches my heart.

So, when I listen to the opening of the song " You think I'd leave your side know me better than that. You think I'd leave you when you're down on your knees? I WOULDN'T do that..." I hear his promise to me.

Or perhaps, take the lyrics " When you're on the outside and you can't get back in. I'll show you you're so much better than you know..." WOW! How's that for reassurance? To know that even when I don't believe in myself or  when I have no idea of who I am in Christ he will SHOW me!

When she sings " When you're lost and your alone and you can't get back again. I will find you and bring you home". WOW again. I've been lost so many times in my life. I've gone astray, ended up in situations where I wasn't supposed to be and he ALWAYS finds me and brings me back home to him.

Simply amazing!

So, in short I guess what I'm trying to say is that if you search you can find God in all things. Even a song that to some may have no spiritual value or connection. But for me, I look for Him in ALL things and am able to find him wherever I seek. So, if it took a Sade song to remind me of his promise to me then so be it. At the end of the day all that He cares about is that I got the message.

His message. Which is simply, he is ALWAYS by my side.

So in closing, I urge you to read over the lyrics. Listen to the song. Sing it to yourself. Do whatever it takes in order for it to sink into your spirit that God is ALWAYS by YOUR side! And no matter where you find yourself he will NEVER leave you alone.

God bless,

Until next time....keep fighting the good fight!

Saturday, August 29, 2009

Push! The Birth of a Spiritual Dream.

Sweat beads on my brow

My muscles ache

So much weight around me I feel as if I'll break

I want to push but it's not quite time

I just want it to be over so I can get on with my life

Get back to the way things used to be

But the truth is, after this, I may never see "me" again

Or at least not the "old" me

Cause after this I'll change

Only thing that will be the same is my name

It hurts going thru it

Truly I didn't sign up for this

I'm not talking about childbirth but instead God's creating in me his purpose

I asked God to graduate me

To take me to the next level

Told him I was ready

Wanted to show just how much I've grown

Thought I was strong enough to take it on

But the pain is so instense

It won't leave me alone

Gotta get this dream out from inside of me

Wanna push but it's not time

They tell me to breath and be patient

They don't know I'm feeling as if I'm about to lose my mind

The pressure is on me

It's coming from ALL sides

Here it comes now

My soul is open wide

I'm think I can see it

Just above the horizon

What am I bringing into this world?

Please God NO surprises!

I thought I knew what I was destined to be but it seems

It's nothing I could have ever imagined

Like nothing I ever dreamed

Okay finally, time to push

The dream is being made a reality

I can't believe all this was wrapped up inside of me

Wow it's amazing how my lil body could hold

So much power

I feel so bold!

It's worth all of the pain I had to endure

He gave me all I asked for and so much more!

I bet I'll hardly remember how much I had to go through

Now that the dream is here and his promises remained true

He never gives more than we can bear

Through our toughest challenges he's right there

So don't be afraid of a little pain

Cause after all, heartache is often the beginning of the birthing of your dreams

Written by RaShaunda Fuller Copyrights 2007


Any vision that God gives you may cause you some sort of pain. But whatever you DO, DON'T give up!  It's the most beautiful thing you will ever live through when you allow him to birth what's inside of you!
Keep dreaming! No matter who stops believing for you or with you just don't YOU stop! He's right by your side and he's ALL that you need to make it to the finish line! KEEP DREAMING! After rain comes the sun!Stick around to enjoy it!

Already strong

Maybe just maybe I can chip away
At this mountain that stands before me
Maybe I can chisel one inch at a time
Maybe it's not so hard
Maybe it's all in my mind

Or perhaps I could climb up
And reach it's peak
Looking down at the mass that stands beneath my feet
Maybe just maybe all things are possible for those who love God
Maybe me believing that makes me odd

Or perhaps odd is what I was born to be
Maybe this is the way he shaped me
So I'd refuse to conform to any theory that suggest miracles aren't real
Maybe faith isn't something you see but instead what you feel

Maybe this valley isn't so bad
Perhaps I've not been alone
Maybe he's the company I've had

Perhaps there is JOY in the valley
Because I'm not alone
Maybe this trial will make me strong
Maybe just maybe I'll pass this test
And if I refuse to stop, I'll come out ahead of the rest

Maybe the ocean isn't so deep
Maybe the hills aren't that steep
Maybe birds aren't the only ones with wings
Maybe they aren't the only ones meant to sing

Perhaps if I sing praises through these times
Maybe he's start to transform me spirit, body and mind
Maybe I will FLY

Perhaps this journey not SO bad
Perhaps God will be the best friend I'll ever have

So for now, I'll push, climb and continue to press on
Maybe I am already Strong

Written by RaShaunda Fuller Copyrights 2007

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

The Law of Attraction

Many of us aren’t living in a state of satisfaction.
Allow me to explain to you the law of attraction.
You see, we are like magnets.
And the things that cling to us,
Are all of the things that mirror the deepest parts of us.
What you get out of life,
Is a reflection of something deep inside.
It has everything to do with how much of you’ve applied.
Everyone is born with gifts and talents from God.
The people that are most successful in this world aren’t strange nor odd.
They’ve come to an understanding of the power that lies within.
And have joined forces in working with the energy supplied to them.
The energy that ONLY God can give you if you allow him to.
It’s not only for the “chosen” ones,
That same strength is for you too
Look at your surroundings,
Tell me what you see.
Do you often say to yourself,
There’s so much more to me?
How come the world doesn’t know the mention of your name?
Tell me why all the things you desire, you’ve yet to gain.

It’s simply because you haven’t taken heed to the fact,
That what you believe you are is what you will attract.
If you believe you are successful, healthy and will find love
All these things and more will simply fall from above.
But if you surround yourself with pity and sorrow,
Then there’ll be no sun in yours days of tomorrow.
If you surround yourself with those who are pursuing and living their dreams,
Then you too will start to flourish and accomplish all the things,
That you dreamed to become when you were a child,
Back in the day when dreams were many, vivid and wild.
You saw the world as a place that you could paint a picture,
Of exactly who/what you’d become in your future.

So take a look at yourself and all the things that have “clinged” themselves to you.
Reassess your surroundings and get rid of all that you need to.
In order to live a life of full satisfaction,
You have to live by the law of attraction.

By Ra’Shaunda “Stormm” Fuller  Copyrights 2007