Thursday, May 20, 2010

The ONE That Got Away...

As I reflect on this year and ALL it has brought me I find myself feeling out of sorts. Yea, sure it's brought me a lot of good. But, it has had it down sides as well.

For instance, I've lost 2 aunts this year and I have yet to process this experience. My mother's health seems to worsen and SURELY I can't process exactly how to deal with that. The thought of me living without her is dreadfully painful.

On the bright side of son is DOING SO WELL in school and in  life. I couldn't be more proud.

But something is missing. Something vital. Something critical to my everyday wellness. Or perhaps, it's someone instead. Yes, I think that's it. It's someone is missing. Who is this someone you ask? That someone is me.

Somehow, I've managed to get lost. Lost in the daily grind. Lost in the events that try and consume me. You know, such as career, family, friends,  loneliness...yea, all these things and more.

Well like I was say, I've lost myself. And even worse, I've gotten away from God. Who would've thought? The woman who's always encouraging others to seek and trust in God has somehow managed to get away from him.

Good thing my spiritual compass is never out of order. I can always pick it up and it leads me right back to the center, to God and to me.

With so much on my shoulders, the success of my son, the success of a company, the health of my relationship with loved ones, finances and more I HAVE GOT to stay focused on what matters most. ME.

Yep, that's right. Me. If I'm not all right then how on earth will everything else be all right? It can't be and that's the lesson I've learned. I've got to take care of me. And I will start now by letting go and letting God.

I also apologize to myself for putting anything ahead of me. I also apologize to God for straying so far away.

All is forgiven. It's a new day!



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