"Ms. Magoo"

Just for kicks I decided to post a story and give everyone a laugh at someone else's expense. My mother’s. Who during the time of this incident was affectionately referred to as "Ms. Magoo".

So here goes...."Picture this, Sicily 1902...." Lol!

No really, picture this, 1989 and my mother owned a blue two toned 1978 Dodge Omni hatch back decked out with the luggage rack and all.

Needless to say riding in this car was a mortifying experience. There was no better way to knock the "cool" out of a kids walk than to pick them up or drop them off in what we often referred to as the "Flintstone Car".

The car had a huge hole in the floor of the passenger seat and we'd often joke that if the car were to stop we could do like the Flintstones and run in it. And if that wasn't enough, 2 out of 4 car doors didn't work and had to be tied together from the inside with a white industrial strength rope.

So that left only the front doors to enter and exit a car that I'm sure out lived several owners prior to us.

So getting to the actual incident.

My mother’s boyfriend now husband needed a ride to work due to the fact that his shiny black SAAB was in the shop for maintenance. This car had all the bells and whistles. Peanut Butter leather interior included.

Needless to say, going from his car to riding in the Flintstone Car was not his idea of a way to start off a good day. But hey...beggers can't be choosers and he needed a ride. Simple as that.

So he gets dressed (to the nines I must add suit and all) and yells for my mom to come to take him to work. On their way out the door I hear him fussing at her to get dressed. She refuses rationalizing that it's way too early for anyone to notice her hair rollers and her blue jean house robe and if he was embarrassed he'd just have to get over it. Hence the nickname “Ms. Magoo”. Lol

So off they go. Soon after, they arrive in the front of my stepfather’s office and she kisses him goodbye. He steps out and with a wave my mother drives off into the sunset.

As she's driving she notices a tree in the middle of the road. Yes! I said a TREE! She thinks to herself " Hmm that's an odd place for a tree...oh well" and at that she continues driving. A few feet later she notices a fire hydrant in the middle of the road. Yes, people I did say a FIRE HYDRANT! Again, she thinks to herself "Hmm now THAT is definitely strange. Oh well..." and she proceeds to drive along.

Seconds later she notices people are staring at her, some stares are mortified, others are in disbelief, a few seem somewhat ticked off. So my mom thinks to herself " What are they staring at? Haven’t they seen a lady in hair rollers?!!!"

Immediately people start to scream and point at her as she deadends into a set of steps. So she stops the car and thinks to roll down the window. What she saw will forever stay etched in her mind as the most embarrassing moment she's ever had.

She looked down only to find out she's driving on the SIDEWALK! Yep! You read it right. She'd been driving on the sidewalk then entire time. So the tree, the fire hydrant, the stares, the screams and the people jumping out of her way were all because she'd somehow managed to pull away from the front of the building and drive along the sidewalk!

She looks in the rearview hoping my stepfather didn't catch a glimpse of the catastrophe he claimed as his girlfriend only to see him literally rolling on the concrete smacking the ground and laughing uncontrollably. With what little strength he could muscle up he motioned for her to turn the car around and come back.

Too embarrassed to face him she immediately drives off the sidewalk and heads for home.

The funniest part of the story is my mother was never one to have bumper stickers on her car. But this time was different. Whoever she brought the car from had one lone sticker on the car and it simply read "If you don't like the way I drive then STAY OFF THE SIDEWALK"!

ROTF LOL!

True story people!

Well hope you enjoyed.

Until next time...always find a reason to laugh. Even if it's not at your own expense.

P.S. For those of you who know my mother. Shh! Don't tell her I posted this. She'd KILL me!